It happened right on the first day we arrived at Cat Tien. It just shocked me like the first time I’ve ever been into a haunted house. Everyone was just on their way back to the Art spot or the court while Mia and I were strolling back to our room and getting ready to refresh ourselves with a nice, cool shower. We decided to do it together. As we started to spray water, a gigantic spider crawled from Mia’s shoulder to her back. “Ahhhhhhhh!” – that was a loudest sound you could ever imagine. She immediately grabbed the spider and threw it on the floor. The screaming just wouldn’t stop and this time I joined her. The spider was seriously huge. I kept spraying water on it while yelling for help. We eventually stopped when we noticed that it flowed away out of our sight. I could never imagine that there would be a time in my life that I would actually fight with a spider. It was pretty incredible.
Another amazing memory that I’ve gone through was to hike ten kilometers into the woods. We were supposed to go see crocodiles while in reality, there weren’t any in the lake. It was a bit disappointing but I had tons of fun going through it. Many of my friends complained about how hard and tiring the hike was, but to me I loved it so much. Everyone who was walking besides me were really energetic. We kept messing around and trying to race to see we could reach the destination first. Selena and I even sang out loud in the forest with the harmonization of Sam. It was the longest and most exhausting but also the best and most memorable walk I’ve ever had.
I’m so glad that I was a part of the Cat Tien trip. It wasn’t the best field trip in the world, but it was a memory that I would keep in my heart forever. I just wish that we could do something like this again in the future. ♥
3 comments:
Word choice: I think I've used as many descriptive words that I could think of. Some of the parts, the words were pretty common so they were kind of boring to read.
e.g: "I’m so glad that I was a part of the Cat Tien trip."
All of the words are just really typical,and not special.
Sentence Fluency: Most of my sentences flow pretty well. The majority of the sentences' beginnings are quite different.
e.g: "However", "It", "Finally", etc.
Organization: I divided my entry into different paragraphs with different ideas. The first paragraph shows the beginning/introduction. The second and third paragraphs give different memories that I had during the trip. The last one is the conclusion and my feelings about the trip. I think I summarized the events the best I could so that it wouldn't drag too long.
Proofreading: There might be some grammar mistakes in theses paragraphs but not spelling because I already spell-checked. Each paragraph contains a new and different idea and I think they're pretty clear. Necessary words are capitalized correctly.
I think I deserve a 10/12 ♥
Nice long paragraphs, and really good ideas and lots of descriptive words and yeah, there's some grammar mistakes. Anyway, I think you deserves more than a 10, like a 10.5 or 11.5 or something (I think).
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